July 13th, A Birthday Present...
Well, not typically one to call attention to it (or myself), today is my birthday. Quick math, 2022 minus 1965, makes me 57 - that is simply crazy. I do not feel this number, except for days after an occasional catering shift, but really the number means nothing to me. Most days I feel at heart like I am in my 30's. My favorite decade yet, the 40's - old enough to have experienced many things, perhaps credible for it, but young enough to realize there is much to still do! I had A LOT of fun. This 50's decade, a game changer to my life, my family, my future, my being!
I began a tradition to write an annual birthday letter to myself. Knowing I prefer to be more outside the box, take the road less travelled, for the next 365 days 'borrowing', from the movie Julie & Julia, the book Eat, Pray, Love, the daybook reflections Simple Abundance, and listening to my heart, encouraged by the words that appeared upon the pages of my notebook while brain dumping, and expanding upon my existing ritual...I am going to find what is present, as I write a daily letter to myself! Truthfully, I do not know exactly why yet, other than ‘therapy’– writing helps me work things out, gain awareness, explore, develop solutions, and let go. I envision an outcome of achieving the goal and seeing what happens. What is with the posting - accountability, or is it integrity, both important to me! Perhaps too, a reader is curious, relates, decides to write as well, contemplates the content, a conversation evolves...whatever might be possible.
It hasn't been easy trying to be completely present and embrace this unexpected 50's transition I am in, of both life changing losses and never imagined gains! The most recent book I am reading, When the Heart Waits, providing resonating insights and encouragement - is healing closer than it has ever been, and the rebirth beyond what can be reimagined? It is time!!!
I will write about whatever the day holds...my story, hopes, challenges, perspectives, pain, gratitude and so forth. What if I am blocked, while I often have too much to say! Am I, my @%*&, even interesting, or is it more about the apparent never-ending personal discovery I do? I like to believe I am 'fearless', but WOW am I feeling uncomfortably vulnerable. As a people pleaser, the lines blur to keep me focused on discarding perfectionism and just show up raw, messy, most likely grammatically incorrect. I will tell myself; I don’t care how I sound to others, stay true to my authentic self and the commitment, project. Limited complaining, whining, pity, ha-ha... lots of authenticity, cheerleading, positivity and always remembering, I am abundantly blessed when I live intentionally present.
Hmmm, a gift for myself, unusual… Day 1!
Thank you if you choose to join the journey. Let's hope it is more fun than tears!
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