365 Letters to Myself
August 6th, Lazy days...
Will it ever be easy for me to embrace a lazy day? It’s cloudy, rainy and here I sit thinking, I should do this, I should do that – I can’t simply lounge. Just like yesterday, a gorgeous day I was going to only relax on the patio, but not until I did a couple of tasks that allowed me to feel I was productive first. I kept getting up and down from the couch and my reading.
It’s not like I am super disciplined anymore. There was a time in my life I always had to be busy. If I dared to watch TV, I better be doing laundry, paying bills, attacking a clutter project (sorting catalogs, mail) or a long time ago something crafty, the height of my career, working…at the same time. Now I have learned to slow it down a bit, capable of not multi-tasking, but my mind isn’t focused on the show I might be watching. My thoughts are to what is not getting done, what else could I be doing or worse I may contemplate the past.
The granddaughter comes in to my room, “Grandma-I made you something at school…” She enthusiastically shows me the life of a butterfly wheel, revealing each stage- eggs, caterpillar, chrysalis, butterfly. I was recipient of a similar project, and she thought I would like this one too. I do – I love it, the symbolism, the message. I will keep it in my planner as reminder of my time right now, a chrysalis in transformation. It is ok to simply be, I tell myself, and it seems I will keep getting signs to embrace what feels lazy, as with meaning and transformative.
Hmmm, productive has many looks…day 24!
Thank you if you choose to join the journey. Let's hope it is more fun than tears!