August 2nd, It's not personal...
As I was talking with a friend last evening – over her pain of treatment received from ‘family’ – I found myself trying to provide some perspective and comfort around, “Don’t take it personally”.
We chatted briefly about how when another chooses to hurt us, it is not us but the reflection of how they feel about themselves. As well put in the book The 5AM Club, “Those who hurt others silently loathe themselves”. I rambled about people that are at peace with themselves, love is present…no need to act out against, create hurt within anyone. Some may debate, it’s not a conscious act, or simply not the intention, just oversight. At times this could be entertained. But within reason of circumstances, many cases it is obvious. I kept this about her situation, but knowing mine, there was the ‘it’s happened to me too’ floating around and she acknowledged such.
It has happened to me and continues happening to me. As a recipient of transferred emotions, (jealousy, greed, hate) quite honestly it gets tiring to keep trying to remind myself, ‘it is not me’. How am I supposed to be the best version of myself, knowing it will cause others to act against me, intentionally or unintended? I am reminded that withholding makes no difference, either. In a spirit of avoiding ‘hurt’ upon others, I compromise myself significantly. It doesn't matter, in the end – hurting me in every way possible, to lift themselves up occurs anyways. Much of what I was capable of doing, decisions I could have channeled differently, will not come to be and who knows what difference they would have made for myself and others.
Hmmm, be the best version of myself…day 21!
Thank you if you choose to join the journey. Let's hope it is more fun than tears!