July 24th, Faith...
For the first time in 2.3 years, I finally attended mass physically, in person. It felt normal. Familiar faces but much smaller congregation, apparently 30% less. The celebration of our steadfast deacon's retirement (he also was my son's doctor after his broken femur). It felt like the right time to return. All was as it should be.
Truth be told though, I am angry. I have willingly attended mass weekly through streaming, after fighting their choice to close with emails to the archdiocese. How is the church not essential? Choosing to give in to fear over faith - disappointing.
The parting words of Deacon Steve...forgive. Do I need to work on my forgiveness of the church? Were they doing the best they could? Hard to give them a pass - they let me down. Forgiveness is "for giving another chance" if something has changed - is the church sorry, will they avoid ever doing such a thing, again? Admit a wrongdoing?
Upside, I do feel abundantly blessed to attend St. Patrick's Cathedral of New York, online, listening to Cardinal Dolan preach.
Hmmm, over fear… Day 12!
Thank you if you choose to join the journey. Let's hope it is more fun than tears!