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365 Letters to Myself

February 27th - Daddy's girl...

I have/had a great relationship with my dad! Thinking about it as I witnessed my granddaughter and son in a precious daddy/daughter moment…her arms lovingly around his neck, as she stood on a chair, snuggling her head into him.

Since they live with us, I am privileged to hear the cutest chatter between them often. It makes me think about the conversations both verbal and silent I got to have with my father. Most my life he was there for me (and my family). Many, still today, see him as a man of stature despite his actual height. Though worthy and deserving of all the admiration, I am proud that I enjoyed a relationship of authenticity… he was real to me, we were real with each other.

As his days on earth were ending, he recited his own obituary to me-grateful for the fullness of his life. He looked directly at me-sharing that he was tired and knew I understood how the family dynamic was wearing on him. He asked for me to be with him as it became more difficult to speak-saying once more how pleased he was with me (my work) and I assured him he would simply be moving from his office a couple doors down to always in my heart. And in the moment before his last breath-I was at his bed when he opened his eyes and gasped, one last time.

I do still talk to him in my brain dumping, my thoughts, and with my energy healer. He never believed what has happened to our family, between my siblings and I, could or would. He offers apologies, appreciation and recently with a sternness, encouragement to “get on with it.” I am.

The phenomenon of feeling as though one has lived through the present situation before, watching my sons with their girls.

Hmmm, transcends time and space…day 214!

Thank you if you choose to join the journey. Let's hope it is more fun than tears!

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