January 27th - Scream from the mountaintop...
It is highly unlikely that anything I attempt to say to my now estranged siblings will ever get through, in anyway. They go immediately into defend and compete, talking over me because what they have to say is all that matters.
Their desperation to have confirmation, perhaps a cry out I wasn’t considering until just now, to be validated as competent and successful, in their own right. Could I give it to them – no because I am limited in the picture they are controlling, there is data I do not have, nor do they want me to. And, truthfully, I remain slightly filtered, though less and less – by my interpretation of our separation.
All of it sometimes makes me want to scream, but instead I go on an email rampage. History shows, my emails go ignored, the silence a form of bullying, abuse, and control. In this case today, I am ok with a lack of response. (Still feeling the cut cords from my energy healing appointment!) The contact we had leaves me with a realization that very little has changed, (including my hardline truth-desire to have it validated) and any relationship would be toxic for me again. Though kudos to an attempt of diplomacy. Counting my blessings to be free!
The right people, at the right time, in the right place!
Hmmm, no one is listening…day 186!
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