January 15th - Binge watching...
Tsk, tsk… I got a bit of track and using my ‘escape’ to binge watching as the excuse. Thinking I need to reevaluate my letter posting to be first thing in the morning – as when I let it be, otherwise, I sometimes get too caught up in my day and whatever events, missing my post. Yesterday it was a rare indulging of a streaming show, Emily in Paris, and today, almost playoff football. Neither of which are more important – just what I seem to have chosen to do.
I don’t know that the choices are good, bad – likely indifferent. Just choices. And I give myself permission, more and more. I have spent a huge part of my life trying to always be ‘on’, having to do something productive with my time and though I do still feel the need to do so, a bit guilty if I am not, it is ok if I take a couple hours and lose myself in a ‘feel good’ show or rooting on a team I have been fond of for almost 40 years (yikes – that’s a long time – especially when they lose, again!).
These letters to myself, to be discovering, vulnerable, show commitment – not quite halfway through am I getting what I need out of them? I do feel disappointment on the days I do not write them. I have a sense of duty completed when I do. But am I opening up, am I learning new insights, am I doing something worthwhile? Most days, whether obvious or not, I see a message or insight, my gain. Happier continuing to do the exercise – thus my disappointment when I miss a day.
A promise made to myself – I really want to keep it!
Hmmm, self-indulgence…day 175!
Thank you if you choose to join the journey. Let's hope it is more fun than tears!