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365 Letters to Myself

December 30th, Growing old..

Should aging be beautiful, celebrated, dignified, graceful? I wonder what percentage of the population can experience it this way and more, positively? Watching my parents, aging has meant ailments and illnesses. Which I am imagining is most common – we die from something.

I must be truthful, though it is the circle of life, experiencing the growing old with parents that are literally having their bodies fail is painful. They live all their lives as leaders, teachers, mentors, patriarch/matriarch, in strength and then forced to become dependent, stripped of dignity and positions. Some may say it is the child’s chance to return the care given to them – but a parent does not want a role reversal, any more than their children desires it. It is especially difficult to see them become weakened, versions of who they have always been, sometimes unrecognizable. Instead of all the memories where they were strong, these final ones become a last impression it is hard to look beyond.

It all feels a bit cruel at the moment. Perhaps because it is dominating my life right now as the primary caregiver to my mom. I do not mind at all, just sad observations I am experiencing.

If the golden years, are meant to be golden, why?

Hmmm, Not for the weak…day 162!

Thank you if you choose to join the journey. Let's hope it is more fun than tears!

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