October 26th, It is not physical...
After 2 hours in UR this morning, EMT’s at the house and another 4+ in the ER tonight – the verdict, physically all looks fine for age, condition. It’s not physical was my diagnosis from the start and no emergency medical personnel is saying it out loud. I get it, they can’t, their box is to deal with the moment, qualifying and disqualifying – admitting or discharging.
The exhaustion is kicking in for me, as I lay in my son’s room, while she is sleeping in my bed. Driving home, I kindly mentioned to her a few times, it’s not physical – you are physically ok - are you hearing me. Hoping these words would give her peace. It gives me no pleasure to be thinking it is more mental and emotional ailments going on. I am sad about the situation, as I had to witness the impatience, frustration, crying, losing it. I am at a loss on what to do next – me trying to address what is going on, is not the answer.
Hmmm, it is mental, emotional…day 102!
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