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365 Letters to Myself

October 16th, Lying...

I am curious if those who lie know they are doing so. Is lying an intentional or unintentional act? What is the inner dialogue, instinct supporting it? In sincerity I would like to understand.

Lying is becoming more and more important. Relevant in my child raising years, it is once again, this time with better patience, same concern. Lying also has significantly altered my life, into a second act, face it daily. Lying is devasting, overwhelming every day in our society, politically.

In some of these situations the motive is without question power and the lying is so repetitive, convincing, the changes to people’s lives very real and mind control in question. What if another motivator is to create the reality that is desired, at any cost? This makes sense when I apply it to some recent incidents. I get occasionally, ‘lying’, to avoid hurting someone may be appropriate or a few misleads when planning a surprise - good intentions are underlining.

I am terrible at lying, for the reasons noted – don’t do it, (ok-perhaps in my teenage years…to do what I wanted, to avoid consequences…didn’t work usually). Afraid I will forget and or be caught in them, which I have – resulting in shame, disappointment, guilt. Seeing it daily, the damage it is doing. Feeling it daily, the victim of it happening about, to me. I value living authentic and with integrity too much – may I do my best to not and help others not as well.

Hmmm, for what purpose…day 92!

Thank you if you choose to join the journey. Let's hope it is more fun than tears!

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