365 Letters to Myself

Christina Brandt
Jul 24
2 min read

Another’s Shoes

As I lay in bed debating about getting up, struggling through a common pattern of trying to understand the life quake events of my life, today’s perspective is envisioning positioning myself in another’s shoes. I am those that took the actions they did against me and started asking myself, how much hate do you have for someone to make up a story or exploit a solved mistake, to organize a life altering coup against them? If not hate how much ego to be so driven in your self-serving any means will justify the end? Or blinded by what exactly, to not even consider evidence upon evidence to even slightly question such drastic measures that will completely change ‘loved ones’ lives? I do not want to sound weak, stuck, paralyzed by it but I would not be truthful if I denied almost every day it comes up and it being the lies. What I at this point cannot get over, the false representation of my character and the influence one person is able to have to lead, want to do so.

So, I put on her shoes – and there is nothing in me that can take me to a place where one sister would turn on the other with such depth – suggesting 3 ½ decades of dedication, passion and mostly positive, measurable, awarded results, deserved to lose their hard-earned position. Oh wait, of course in her shoes it wasn’t earned or deserved. Ok, but what about 50 years of sibling history, of being able to consistently depend on me – suddenly has no relevance? Just accept this event was about putting the family, not business, first might be the reply (no contradictions).

My struggle remains, but I choose today to keep stepping up and out.