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365 Letters to Myself

May 8th - 0-10...

I don’t have the best memory. I attribute it to an idea that what might be difficult or painful to remember, I simply choose to block out. But this letter starts a series of 6, going through my decades and attempting to remember what might stick out.

There are exercises where you pick a song or find other ways to ‘name’ the designated time. My childhood years, 0 – 10, the title We are Family feels like a possibility. This was the time of our growing family. The first-born girl, 2nd child, there was not a lot of time for me to be a kid. By the age of 2, my sister was born prematurely and 18 months later my 2nd sister. Mom often refers to 3 girls in 3+ years, not the best of strategies.

As I went from a happy, busy toddler – to a thoughtful, quiet one, mom decided to place me in Montessori. She also hired full time childcare help, a wonderful woman – Harriet, like our 3rd grandma. It is my belief now that to be acknowledged, I achieved. Whether it was academically or characteristically, I did, relatively easily.

Having my youngest brother born when I was 6, gave me a ‘motherly’ purpose, as I stepped up my efforts of being helpful, acceptable and responsible to do what was needed in taking care of him. This became a source of teasing and unintended insults. It also, was my challenge, to invest in what it looked like to be a ‘perfect’ family by being as capable and ‘good’ as possible.

Hmmm, we are family…day 278!

Thank you if you choose to join the journey. Let's hope it is more fun than tears!

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