365 Letters to Myself
July 15th, Dear Dad...
It's kind of a fun feeling of anticipation, putting on a pair of pants you haven't had on for a while reaching in the pocket... and finding money, a receipt or a NOTE. I don't think it was that long ago I wore the jean skirt, but when I put in on in the back pocket a folded note with rips, that is wearing thin on the folds. I open it, "Dear Dad... What the heck, dad passed away 10 years ago... I don't know if I had this skirt 10 years ago-and I do know I have worn it (and washed it, ha) many times with nothing in the pocket...if I gave the note to him, how do I now have it? What is going on?? What is the message in this...I can't help myself considering a deeper meaning or wanting to solve the mystery? A brief memory is now coming to me, not sure if true, did mom find this and give the note to me? Still doesn't explain how it ended up where it did, on the day it did.
The essence of the note, apologies for hurting dad with my actions, declaring I would have to learn on my own, grateful for his love. When did I write this...my handwriting suggests my late teens, early 20's? (that would make sense - I had some stuff going on!) The fragility of the paper suggests it's been read more than a few times and carried perhaps in a wallet.
Dad and I had a wonderful relationship. He was always there for me, believed in me at work. We spent lots of time together with my family. There was never to my recollection a gap in our relationship. I surmise with his death that he seems to be on a long trip, what if the note is to say he's actually right here, right now, more present than I am realizing?! What a blessing I should embrace...life is abundant!
Hmmm, glad you're here dad…
Thank you if you choose to join the journey of reading my letters. Let's hope it is more fun than tears!
(2008 - Award recipients!)